I thank you god.

God, thank you for the food that was on my plate. God, thank you for the insect that was on the plate too. I just wondered - are you the God of insects too? If so, did this insect thank you for all the food, minutes before I inadvertenly chomped on it? I suppose it has passed on to a better place - or is it flapping in my stomach? If so, is it thanking you for all the blood that has windfallen upon it?

God, thank for you the air that I breathe. Also thank you for the Sun in the sky. But did you know that these two creations of yours have teamed up against the city of Chennai to expand mercury to the limit of explosion? And did you know that I actually went on a trip to the City and breathed the 'air'? I'm not sure you can call unburnt hydrocarbons air - so I actually went on a trip to the city and breathed the what-not.

God, thank you for all the animals and plants in the world - though I was chased by a particularly large canine creation of yours. I managed to avoid it by running into a building and shutting the door on it. And that spinach that mum fed me sometime ago. I guess I'll have to thank you for that too - though we all know how spinach tastes - Popeye's pesistent propaganda notwithstanding. Yuk.

God, thank you for the flowers and the honey and the birds and the bees. Though I, once, chased by a group of particularly agressive honey-bee specimen stumbled into a bed of particularly thorny roses only for a bird to empty its intestines on me.

God, thank you for the breeze and the rain - though my house was blown away in a hurricane and I was getting drenched to the core in the accompanying rain - almost to get pneumonia. Of course, I did not get pneumonia. I just had a rather persistent strain of common cold - which gave me its faithful company for six months.

God, thank you for the beautiful hills and those lovely fjords. Thank you for the rivers that meander right through them. Though I did have a friend who tried to imitate a bird near one of them fjords- but wound up doing a rather unsuccessful imitation of a cat and then a rather unsuccessful imitation of a fish.

God, thank you for the Beatles and Led Zep. Or should I be thanking their mothers instead? But you did create Britney Spears - and closer to home - Daler Mehndi.

God, thank you for creating water. Though little did you now of the water scarcity that you would correspondingly create.[I am a proud resident of Chennai, a city notorious for its water problems*]. And even littler did you know of the anarchy that a lot of water flowing generates.

And FINALLY, God, thank you for yourself. Though you have given courage to millions all around the world to face their lives with confidence and dignity, your various manifestations have caused almost all the wars in the world. You yourself have killed millions of people - just because you thoroughly confused humanity about what you actually are. God, you started the 'divide and rule' policy, though we Indians blame the Brits for it.

Thank you God, for being there for us. Wherever and whenever we humans err, we reckon it is divine. To err is devine - to blame is human. That's why we created you, God, to err.

*A Plausible remedy to the water problem: collect your sweat and cook in it. That way, even the salt can be recycled!!