Saturday, April 01, 2006

Feynman is a Hoax

A Tribute to Conspiracy Theories and the Idiots who spread them

Just like Einstein, Newton and Shakespeare before him and Stephen Hawking after him, Richard Feynman is nothing but a lowly hoax.

Feynman painted many naked women, wrote a lot of books, flirted around with everyone, grew Einstein-like hair, gave T.V interviews, traveled all around the world, got his car stuck in a snowstorm, moved to Caltech and basked in the salubrious Californian weather and gave some stilted lectures (which, strangely, have become quite popular among the students of today). If he did all this in his life, then, pray tell me, how on earth would he have found the time to do any credible research? Feynman unscrupulously reproduced the work of another scientist, an unfortunate individual whose name shall remain unknown for all eternity. I mean, why on earth would a theoretical Physicist work on wobbling plates?

It is my personal conviction that he copied the research from another scientist ( the real genius), killed the guy and shoved his body into a landfill, just like Einstein, who plagiarized David Hilbert's (Hilbert: a man with a lot of problems, 23 to be exact) equations of General Relativity, Lorentz's equations of special relativity and someone or the other's explanation of the photo-electric effect. I am sure that the Einstein summation convention was also created by someone else: probably an ancient Indian philosopher called Bhatti or something.

There is a popular anecdote about Newton: he constructed a cat flap (an opening in the door to allow the cat to go through) for his cat. And his cat got laid and had kittens. And he made another cat flap: for the kittens. Now, tell me, how could someone, so obviously deficient in the cerebrum, be capable of making significant contributions to mechanics, astronomy, calculus, fluid mechanics, heat transfer, optics - and everything else? It is my conviction that all Newton did was invent a system of plagiarism using which he could take credit for any work done in that field. I am sure he invented one such system for each field that he plagiarized.

This article is original and not plagiarized. If you need to kill someone for spreading this trashy libel, it is me. Feel free to be as abusive as possible in the comments sections of this post.

1 comment:

Sudhir said...

excellent article!! have become an instant fan of your writing.